@@@@@ "I don't care who you sleep with," I
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"I don't care who you sleep with," I saidAll I want is to save Tom Riley's life
This time she screamed so loud I had to hold the
phone away from my ear"I'm not RESPONSIBLE for
his life! WE'RE QUITS! Did you miss that?" Then, a
little lower (but not much): "He's not even in StHe's on a cruise with his mother and that
gayboy brother of his
Suddenly I understood, or thought I didIt was as
if I were flying over it, getting an aerial view
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Maybe because I had contemplated suicide,
cautioning myself all the while that it must
absolutely look like an accidentNot so the
insurance money would get paid, but so that my
daughters wouldn't have to go through life with
the stigma of everyone knowing -
And that was the answer, wasn't it?
"Tell him you knowWhen he gets back, tell him
you know he's planning to kill himself
"Why would he believe me?"
"Because he is planning to
Because he's mentally ill, and probably thinks
he's going around with a sign that says PLANNING
SUICIDE taped to his backTell him you know he's
been ditching his antidepressantsYou do know
that, right? For a factBut telling him to take them never helped
before
"Did you ever tell him you'd tattle on him if he
didn't start taking his medicine? Tattle to
everyone?"
"No, and I'm not going to now!" She sounded
appalled"Do you think I want everyone in St
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Paul to know I slept with Tom Riley? That I had a
thing with him?"
"How about all of StPaul knowing you care what
happens to him? Would that be so goddam awful?"
She was silent
"All I want is for you to confront him when he
comes back-"
"All you want! Right! Your whole life has been
about all you want! I tell you what, Eddie, if
this is such a BFD to you, then you confront him!"
It was that shrill hardness again, but this time
with fear behind it
I said, "If you were the one who broke it off, you
probably still have power over himIncluding -
maybe - the power to make him save his lifeI
know that's scary, but you're stuck with it
"If he kills himself, I doubt if you'll spend the
rest of your life with a bad consciencebut I
think you will have one miserable